An interesting article below on how religion plays a major role in having the nice guy syndrome or being a people pleaser. Most people pleasers I know, men and women, are very religious or grew up religious. Religion definitely plays in major role in teaching women to be "good girls" or people pleasers. I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic schools for 10 years of my life as a child. When I grew older, I was actually a youth minister for a time and considered going to seminary. All of the religious indoctrination that I got as kid definitely fucked me up and I know played a major role in me being a people pleasing nice guy. Nice guys believe that they have to be "good" because of their belief that they fundamentally bad or "sinners", feel tremendous shame when they make mistakes or "sin", and have deep sexual fear and shame and often struggle with sexual addictions to porn (which I struggled with for a time). Nice guys are also passive (praying is a passive act), extremely anxious (religion uses the devil, fear of the Lord and fear of condemnation to control people), self sacrificing (like Jesus), don't set boundaries and let people walk all over them (turn the other cheek), and seek people's approval or validation and fear their disproval just religious people are taught to seek God's approval and fear God's disproval. Religion definitely does not make people healthy and for who struggle with the disease to please or being a people pleaser, it makes it worse! I definitely glad I broke free from my religious indoctrination and I am continuing to break free from being a people-pleasing "nice guy"
http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/forums/showthread.php?t=903
1 comment:
Thank you for your post Curtis Ducan. It was nice to read your opinion on the religious influence on creating extreme passive males and even influence on some kind of mental illness. I do certainly give you tumbs up for mentioning the sexual aspect of religious influence. So many denominations give us so many rules on what not to do, but don't actually help us satisfying most human sexual needs. Like helping someone to get a job, learn working skills and paying for your bills, or even helping young couples buying a small home. I guess some pratical help is welcomed.
Besides that is getting clear, at least for me, how most religions are running out of answers to people´s everyday questions. I'm not trying to say that God doesn't exist - Or anything along that line, but I'm saying only that denominations are running out of answers to people's problems and with the Internet, as time goes by, more people are getting aware of that. I guess many of us want more than self help advice when thinking about spirituality.
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